After Thoughts
The Poetry of J. Hodges


I’ve lived a life, full
exciting! turbulent! somewhat satisfying
Now, I grow old
I ponder and wonder
if I’ve outlived the worthwhile
and my days are slow

I look for a reason to go on
Find little satisfaction
as my days are routine and dull

I long for an embrace
a smile and another to relate to
Will these days, on and on
lead to joy, yet unknown
and fill this emptiness
I have grown to know

No plans, no ambitions
No clue as friends and family grow fewer
Each day, I pray
and know a loneliness that festers

In me, I know frustration
An ocean of hopelessness
where I drown in ignorance

My faith wanes
My fears ebb and flow
I go down for the umpteenth time

Help me, Lord,
trust that I will not drown but float
find a buoy in this sea of unknowingness
and drift until, once again, I see the shore.