The Weight

I sit
wondering
if I’ll ever be loved
The memory of my wife
emblazoned in my head
The times we shared
Good and Bad
Now, she’s dead
and I struggle
struggle to go on without her
without the comfort of her warm heart
 

Today, thoughts of yesterday
crowd my head
Her things around me
as my heart seeks peace
As my being, incomplete
remembers a whisper
a soft caress
I travel somewhere
somewhere inside
where I am tortured
by my own inadequacy
 

Having loved and won
having loved and lost
the defeat and the sorrow
won’t leave me alone
I think about the chances
The chance I might find another
The chances, slim
But my heart…
my heart dims
as I spend another day, alone
and wait for love.
 

-J